"Saved," Again, 2006

"Saved," Again, 2006

There was a man
who I “saved,” he said,
back in the day.

And then, he was there
as I lost everything.
And I was blessed.

I just said sent him off
and he left a beacon so
I can find my way back.

Love is the easy part.
Circumstances are hard.
It hardly ever fits, perfectly.

And when it does, we cling.
And suffocate and lie. We
become what we are not, truly.

My screen is quiet now.
My phone does not ring
with new pictures of my beloveds.

I sit with myself and some
roses on my desk. And, I remember
what words do to me.

How they entrance and
lead to promises that sit empty
if the writing isn’t posted.

I wrote a whole book about him.
And, he has no idea. I wrote it to him
but, it is for me, and you.

I will always put this out there,
for someone to catch. I can’t
stop doing that. It’s natural.

Just as I can’t stop my heart
from spreading itself over
the miles from here to there.

These tools make distance disappear.
Love that would take months before,
takes days now. Would it have been

different with a pen and a piece
of paper? He will get more work done,
he says. I will empty my heart.

With a scrub-brush and a scraper. A rebound?
Yes. Was it real? Yes. Will it be again?
It always is there, just for you, when you call it.
It’s found.