A String on Your Neck, 2006
This is a dissolution of a marriage. This is a coming-apart.
This is disintegration. With the utmost love possible.
I gently lay the blossom on my desk, but, later, it wilts anyway.
My friend commented on how calm I sound. As she spoke, I thought,
“The blessing is strong.” Robert’s blessing went right through my being. I let him
truly penetrate. He’s very real. She's still holding two of them, together and inside her.
A sharp knife that causes bliss as it cuts through--penetrating wisdom.
This is what it feels like. He’s very powerful. Intensity. I’ve never felt
anything like that except when I met Karmapa. I wept for days after that.
The weeping, cracked me open and caused me to remember a promise that
I had made.
I remember your neck and how it just was
like it is. With the strings, and I found him there.
Your skin was so soft and subtle. I just ran my lips all over your body.
Sensing you, smelling you. Carressing your encasement.
How is it possible that you are within that body?
This is really what blows my mind about life.
That my sister is in her body. That she actually exists, that I can touch her
and see her in her eyes, in her voice. Like mine. Some mistake it. Miss. Taken.
Always taken back here, to this point. Right here. X.
I told you on the dock that when you talk to me, I feel incredibly beautiful. More
beautiful than I’ve ever felt in my lifetime. Your smooth voice. Your relaxed positioning.
Always reclining, in recline, in repose. I prefer horizontal to vertical. The stiff chill
of the breeze. You shivered; I was hot. Always heated.
I realized this when I was chasing your friend north in his mini-van.
I was playing with him. Always playing. Constantly toying, constantly testing
and pushing and tumbling. Moving through space faster than before.
My mind is so sharp now. It’s a laser. I am free again.
And the sun shines every day--all day, and this is amazing to me. That I see it flicker.
© 2010 by Felice Tebbe. All rights reserved.